9 Aug
I Hear Ya!
Communication is something I’ve always thought a lot about and, now that I’m deaf, even more so.
Most of us spend over 75% of our work day in interpersonal situations, given this; it’s no surprise that the root of a large number of problems is based in poor, ineffective communication. Think of all the experiences you’ve had where money and/or time was lost because of poor communication.
My goal (personally and professionally) is to have effective communication but what does that mean? To me, it means that both parties understand the message being conveyed as it was intended. Sounds simple, right? Many of us feel that we communicate fine it’s just that other people don’t know how to listen.
The first big step, then, in achieving truly great communication is to become a better listener. Listening isn’t just something that happens when you’re not talking – it’s something we all need to work at. That process is referred to as “active listening”. Even without hearing this is something that I can do!
I’m big on repeating and rephrasing what a speaker has said in order to check my understanding. It helps both speaker and listener to clarify, refine and confirm the message. Start with “Let me be sure I’m following you. Are you saying…?”
Try to organize information as you receive it. Not everyone speaks, explains their message, in the classic “beginning, middle and end” story style. If it helps, jot down notes so you can structure the information in a way that’s easier for you to grasp. Ask questions. It can be as simple as: “Tell me more about your concern.”
And what about you, when you need to communicate?
Speak clearly and at a moderate pace – this is key for anyone working in a hectic or fast paced environment and especially important for us hard of hearing and deaf folk. Yes, I can’t hear what you’re saying BUT I’m trying to read your lips. If you’re talking a mile a minute you’re just going to lose me. Even someone with hearing is going to lose at least part of what you say if you’re racing to get your entire message out in one breath.
State what is most important first and then give examples. If you find that your audience does not understand what you’re saying, paraphrase and, again, give examples to paint a picture with words.
For you folks with hearing, reduce environmental noise or move to a quieter location – very important for any successful exchange of ideas.
We’re not all the way to effective communication yet! There are hurdles to get over.
On top of actual language differences, (I use American Sign Language and the person I’m trying to have a conversation with speaks only Italian – not an insurmountable hurdle by any means!), many of us are speaking English but because we were all raised in different types of homes, we interpret different tones of voice, mannerisms, phrases differently. We often speak in shortcuts and these can lead to some pretty big misunderstandings. Language is a very tricky business!
This can be amplified in email and text messages, in part, because we can’t hear the person’s tone of voice or see the speakers face to get a better sense of where they’re coming from. Are they miffed and impatient, calmly explaining, how can I know? Remember to think before you write and reread before you hit the send button.
Videophones, not to be confused with video conferencing, are becoming big in the deaf world so we can “talk” without needing to always type. How long before this is standard in most businesses? It makes a lot of sense to me and has the potential to reduce misunderstandings.
Much more can and has been said on the topic of effective communication.
Some final points to consider:
A. Do I assume that if an idea is clear to me, it will be clear to the receiver?
B. Do I make it comfortable for others to tell me what’s really on their mind or do I encourage them to tell me only what I like to hear?
C. Do I verify my understanding of what another person has told me before I reply?
D. Am I tolerant of other people’s feelings, realizing that their feelings may effect their communication?
And related:
E. Do I really try to listen from the sender’s point-of-view before evaluating the message from my point-of-view?
F. Do I make a conscious effort to build feedback possibility into all communication, since even at its best communication is an imperfect process?
G. Have I made an effort to relate this information or communication so that the receiver sees how it relates to him/her, job or organization?
And keep a pen handy just in case you need write down your thoughts for a deafie!
It takes concentration and determination to achieve effective communication. We all have bad habits and they’re hard to break. Be deliberate and remind yourself that your goal is to truly hear (or “hear” in my case) what the other person is saying and have your message understood completely. Not only will you save time and money, you’ll be surprised by how much more harmonious your day can be!